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When I was in high school, I looked around and saw people having sex. I could tell it by the looks they were giving each other. But when I asked them, they said “We’re just friends.” I didn’t know back then that you could have sex with a friend and still call them “friend”. So, I tried it and fell into a messy situation that I will talk about in this post. The situation I was in is called ‘friends with benefits’ as we all know by now from that Justin Timberlake movie. But do relationships like that work out in real life? Before you act on your idea of a no-strings-attached relationship, read these 5 important friends-with-benefits rules that will help you avoid trouble.
What Does Friends With Benefits Mean? Why Does It Have Rules?
Friends With Benefits is a term developed by the millennials which they thought was a brilliant idea for having sex with a close friend with No Strings Attached. No, I don’t know if they already knew that having a friends-with-benefit relationship with your friend will turn it into something more because they have already seen these movies, perhaps. A study says 60% of college students as of 2014, have had at least one no-strings-attached relationship. Now I can guess why people have invented this idea.
First of all, there are people who don’t like serious relationships but they value a good friendship all the same. And we are all horny. So, friendship combined with horniness is equal to friends with benefits. The concept doesn’t sound like a mature one but it does help lonely and horny individuals.
Even when we say we like sex minus the responsibilities, deep down we all know that we will catch feelings for the guy we are having sex with. There are many, many reasons why sex with a friend doesn’t work out. Because I truly believe this line told by Oscar Wilde is “Between men and women there is no friendship possible.” And when we combine friendship with sex, everything related to the “friends with benefits” concept becomes impossible.
So does that mean you won’t be able to enjoy this idea that sounds like a Jackpot? Well maybe, if you follow these friends-with-benefits rules, then things might go well for the two of you. But remember that I, you, or even the person you are having sex with, do not control your feelings. So, if you want to get into the part where friendship becomes five times sweeter, you will have to go by the rules.
Also Read: 13 Terrific Differences Between Porn Sex vs Real Life Sex You Need to Know
5 Major Friends With Benefits Rules and Facts You Consider
When I tried friends-with-benefits for the first time, I knew before then that the whole idea was fun and adventurous. It sure is and I will still recommend it. After all, who doesn’t like trying new things, right? But then again, I will not keep you in the dark. Here, I have mentioned the cold hard truths about friends-with-benefits rules that a guy won’t tell you.
Falling In Love Might be Inevitable
The first rule is when you are having a friends-with-benefits relationship, you will have to turn off all your emotions like the vampires in The Vampire Diaries.
But we are humans, and this approach does not always work. So, we end up falling in love, and even when we agreed to an NSA relationship, we do expect more from our partners. Now the catch is that the guy you are having sex with might not be on the same page as you. That means a one-sided heartbreak that I do not want to deal with again.
You Might Not End Up Together
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but going into a fwb relationship with your crush is not going to work out. If you want that guy, make sure he is into you not only sexually but also emotionally. One of the major friends-with-benefits rules is that don’t expect to end up with the person you are having sex with.
Most of the time it does not happen. Even if you manage to get attached somehow, after 2 to 3 years you are going to find out that you are not compatible enough to begin with. That means you have wasted a lot of time that you could use to find a suitable partner instead. But I am not saying that you will never end up with the person you are having sex with, but that is a rare occurrence. And I will not ask you to bet your emotions on that.
Sometimes We Forget The Rules
A cold hard truth about most friends-with-benefits relationships is that we begin one when we are horny. So setting boundaries, and talking about the rules almost never happen. What happens is night after night of scandalous sex and in the daytime, they talk about asking their crush out. So it’s either you don’t negotiate on the rules and boundaries. Or get ready for heartache in the future.
Friends With Benefits Rules: There Should Be No Jealously. JK 🙄
Even though your friend is having sex with you, he is not dating you. That means he is open to dating other people. Now if you have already caught feelings, then you wouldn’t want to see them with anyone else. It is hard to not get jealous when you see your fuck buddy with someone else. And trust me, it is the worst situation you could be in.
Friends With Benefits Rules: You Can’t Be in a Relationship
Do I hear you saying, “We’re just friends!” again? If you have a husband at home and now you are having sex with a friend because he is a “friend”, well that is just really mean. Well, I know as a Horn, you won’t do anything like that. But in case you forget, having a FWB relationship while you are already in a committed relationship, is unethical. Just because he is your friend, doesn’t mean you should have sex with him. You are not only putting your committed relationship in danger but also disrespecting yourself and your FWB partner.
Again, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try a FWB relationship if you think you can handle it. But before even considering a friends-with-benefits relationship, please consider my friendly advice. DON’T DO FWB WITH YOUR CRUSH. You are bound to fall in love, and I can’t save you then.
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