Monthly Archives January 2021

How to Initiate Sex When You Are New?

By Posted on 7 Comments 7 min read 131 views

The first time can be quite daunting for all of us. No matter how brave and strong we are, feeling nervous on your first time is normal. Even if you are a guy, making the initial move is a difficult task, especially when the girl is waiting for you to make a move. But in this post, I will help you overcome all your fear about how to initiate sex for the first time.

As a first-timer, your head is probably loaded with questions. You are probably thinking, what is the right thing to say to make them want to have sex with you? Or you are perhaps thinking, what if she/he rejects me for initiating sex?

When I was in your place, I didn’t think about any of these because the guy himself showed his moves. But later, I realized that depending on your partner is not always a choice. You can Show your desire too. But if you are new, this path can be a little longer.

Check the tips below to learn how to initiate sex for the first time and not feel awkward about it. And when you get the idea, read 10 Advice: How to Have Sex For The First Time? for a confidence boost.

Tips for How to Initiate Sex Without Fear of Rejection

This is a new world now. Girls don’t feel shy to talk about sex as much as we did before. I mean, look at me!

We are changed, we are open-minded, and we are liberal now. Yet, men hold power. They still start sex with us twice as much as we do. Why? Oh, partly because we like to feel dominated. And partly because we don’t know how to do it.

For the record, you can still initiate sex if you are a virgin. There is nothing wrong with that. But if you are not a virgin and with your partner for a while now but still don’t initiate sexual conversations or moves, you are doing it wrong. The more they have to begin the activity, the more you will feel the desire, not doing it first. This can make your partner feel unwanted.

One day a friend came to me to ask me for advice. She asked me, ‘how to get a guy to ask me out’?. When I told her to ask him out herself, she said, “duh, these things are supposed to be done by a guy.”

Now, if she feels this way when it’s about a mere date, imagine her in bed. It would help if you weren’t like that. Instead, channel your inner confidence on and do it. If you don’t sit by the table, you will never know what dishes are waiting for you on the plate.

Experts suggest that the more often you begin sex in bed, the more you keep yourself and your partner happy. Same with your first date. When you feel that your partner is attractive, show it to him. What’s the better way to tell him how you feel about him other than making a move?

Be Direct About It

This is the first step of how to initiate sex with your husband. Don’t feel shy or anything; there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex is a natural thing, and you should show it whenever you feel like it. If you are too shy, you can ask the person instead. A simple question like, “do you wanna get outta here?”, “Wanna make out?” “do you want to kiss me?” are enough to let out your intentions. Well, maybe I’m a little bold. Maybe you can’t ask the last question, but you can still stare at their lips and eyes back and forth to convey the message.

Anal Sex Guide: How to Have First-Time Anal Sex? Things You Should Know

If you are way too nervous about how to initiate sex as a woman, you can write them a message instead. Initially, I recommend you do some sex chat with your partner before thinking about having sex with them. This way, you don’t have to feel that much awkward. It will also give you a topic to talk about, and you will see the conversation naturally flowing. And then you can start foreplay. If you need ideas for a hot foreplay session, check out this post.

You can create a sexy rendezvous by the text that you might not feel bold enough to plan for in person. A study says that most men like a planned-sex night more than the sudden ones though I prefer the latter.

Dress for It to Initiate Sex

Dress all classy and sexy when you are in a mood. This will give him the obvious idea of what you want. If you are a woman, this way works perfectly. For men, though, it can be a little twisted. Men can give a sexy compliment to their lady when she dresses up all-ready. Her body gesture and smile will tell what you want to do next.

Likewise, for women, your body language is more important than your dress. As told earlier, you can do tricks with your eyes. Hovering around his face and lips, playing with hair, being a little touchy-touchy is a great initiative. Basically, seduce him with all your power and be obvious about it. He will take it from there. Not always, words have to do the job. Non-verbal actions can help them take a peek at your mind. Even whispering non-sexual things can make them sexy if you do it seductively.

When you are choosing a sexy dress, make sure to choose lingerie with the same intention. So, if he gets to undress you, he will see your sexy naughty look underneath.

Related Post: Top 12 Sex Songs That Will Change Your Life

Ask Them, “Show Me What You Like”

Sometimes even when you are thinking of how to initiate sex for the first time, it’s better to leave it to your partner. If you have no idea what they like and what they want, how would you know how to please them? Instead, ask him to show you what he likes in a sexy way, preferably after giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

how to initiate sex

He will take it from there if he knows how to do it as you are sending him an open invitation. Before doing this, try to apply other points in the process so that you get to get into this situation easily.

Be Demanding and Confident

Sometimes all you need is unleashing the beast inside of you. Be a little reckless and demanding. Grab him by the neck and show him how much you want him. Forget about all the worries and let your gourd down for a while. Just remember that there is nothing to lose. If you are afraid of open up to a new partner because you might get hurt, leave that fear behind. Lose your self-control and enjoy yourself for a while. Just remember that giving away your body and soul does not make you vulnerable. It means you are strong to let them in.

how to initiate sex for the first time

This time you should prioritize yourself if your company is already interested in you. If you have their permission, don’t be afraid to ask for what you like.

Just Kiss to Initiate Sex

Sometimes all you need is kissing. That’s the best way to learn how to initiate sex. Give them a deep and long kiss, something to make them horny. You can also eat some aphrodisiac foods and drinks together that will help you get in the mood. Sometimes kissing is enough; rest, your biology will figure out how to do it.

Grab them, kiss them, touch them, dirty talk with them, and bang—end of the story. While you are at it, don’t focus on one area only. Kiss them wherever your heart desires.

Strip in Front of Them

Either strip in front of them or walk right in with as few clothes as possible. You can also start to get undressed somewhere he is not ‘actively watching.’ If he knows that you are doing this deliberately, he may start the process. If you happen to catch him or her taking off their clothes in a room, don’t be afraid to initiate the move. But be careful with their privacy and start things slowly. Similarly, you can invite them to take your clothes off.

how to initiate sex with your husband

Watch or Read Naughty Things Together

To set the mood, play on some hot porn videos. Please choose the softcore ones with some stories in them. Or watch a movie like 365 Days or Fifty Shades. Then notice how the actors drive you towards your nice sexy encounter. Or you can read Bared to you by Sylvia Day or any other erotic novel you like. You can also go online and visit Literotica or my erotic stories page to read for free.

How to Initiate Sex with Your Boyfriend: Conclusion

Sometimes you don’t even have to think about it twice. All you do is think about it first and start enjoying foreplay, second. If you are in the right mind and a comfortable place, you should not have to worry about it. Just relax, take a deep breath, and go wherever your heart takes you. Forget about everything else for a while.

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That’s how you initiate sex with your partner. If you have any questions or tips for me, feel free to drop them in the comment box below.

Does Sexual Fluidity Happen? How to Find Out?

By Posted on 1 Comment 6 min read 171 views

In a post a few weeks ago, I have explained the most common types of sexualities. And now we are going to talk about if your sexuality is changeable or not. Many people confuse sexuality with gender. They think that you will always have to have sex with a man if you are a woman. But that’s simply not true. And if you are open-minded, you may find sexual fluidity normal like any good thing on earth.

Whether you are a heterosexual person or a gay, if you switch your sexual orientation, you are sexually fluid. Now, the question is, does it really happen? Is your sexuality really changeable?

What Is Sexual Fluidity? How Does It Happen?

When it comes to sexual fluidity definition, I would say that it refers to changing your sexual orientation. If you are gay now and don’t want to live that way, you can change yourself. But the question is, why would you?

Many people I know are sexually not attracted to the opposite gender. But they date people of the opposite sex because it’s ‘normal.’

Now, who told you to be normal? Normal is boring.

Also, if you try to suppress your sexuality, you will become depressed.

sexual orientation

Sexuality is changeable only when you no longer feel that way. But if you are doing this out of social pressure, you are not really changing. You are listening to people. That’s what it is about.

How does one become sexually fluid then? Well, it’s all about your mentality and nothing else. If you want to flip the switch, then do it. But make sure it’s something you are into.

What Are Different Sexualities? Do They Have Anything to Do With Sexual Fluidity?

So, here is the thing. Not all sexualities are sexual. This means some people are asexual. They don’t feel anything for men or women. But they can also experience sexual fluidity in the future.

There are many sexual orientation types you will find in people. Some are pansexual. Some are sapiosexual, gay, bisexual, and so on. If they want, they can change how they feel. But if it doesn’t happen naturally, it is not changing sexuality. If it’s forced, you can’t call it changing; it’s rather living by society’s norms.

Your sexual orientation is not something you can control unless it changes over time. If you are now attracted to men, you may not feel the same way after 10 years. When you find out that women are more matured than men, you may feel the same attraction to them as you now feel for men.

Like we change our career and stop loving things that we once loved in our childhood, we may feel the same way with romantic and sexual relationships.

Related: What are the Most Special Types of Sexualities?

A study shows that women who label themselves as straight also find themselves sexually attracted to other women at some point. Just because they don’t really prioritize their feelings doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

What is sexual fluidity is depending on your sexual behavior towards different genders. If you think that it is changing, you are maybe changing yourself too.

How Do You Know If Your Sexuality Is Changing?

Your sexuality can change with time and experience. If you are demisexual now, you can become something else later. But you will know your sexual orientation is changing if something like these happens-

You no longer feel controlled by society: If you are stuck in a marriage because of your family or society, you can try to get out of it. When you start communicating with different people, you can get attracted to them as well. When anyone no longer restricts you, you can feel free like a bird. As a result, you can shift from your current sexuality to another.

You feel attracted to different people: When you are 30 years old, have a kid, and decided to be with a same-sex person, you are becoming sexually fluid. This thing is completely normal and happening worldwide. After all, this is the best decision one can take to keep themselves happy.

You may feel propelled to change your sexuality due to religious and political reasons: People really change their sexualities and start living with different people. Why? Because they want to be a part of some religious or political stuff. If you are a religious person, you can believe in god and be a homosexual at the same time. I don’t know why you would have to force yourself to change your sexuality, anyway. But if you want to be a heterosexual for political things, that’s not my issue to resolve.

Also Read: How to Be Sexy: Top 6 Tips to Attract Anyone!

Does Sexual Fluidity Affect Your Identity?

Yes, our sexualities have a great role in our overall identities. We are raised to believe that to have a successful and happy life, we need to marry someone of the opposite sex. We have believed for decades that men and women cannot be friends unless they are sexually involved. So, this did change our mentality.

Being a heterosexual person needs a whole lot of courage to live in this world. A gay, bi, lesbian, or pansexual person overcomes many obstacles in their way than a ‘normal’ person. It makes them stronger and changes their identity to some extent.

Your sexual identity is not depending on your sexual orientation. What I mean is that, if you like a man as a man, you are still a man. It does not make you a woman in any way. Unless, of course, you want to change your gender.

Also, when you change your sexuality, your whole life changes. The chances of you being a biological mother or father of a child are depending on your decision. However, this is only applicable when you allow yourself for same-sex marriage and choose to remain loyal. But men are getting pregnant too. And a lesbian couple can have a biological child without a man involved. Technology has made everything possible.

What is The Connection Between Your Sexuality and Gender?

Your gender is your sexual identity and has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Your sexuality is depending on various factors, which include your gender as well. Though your sexuality is changeable, sexual identity may not be unless you want to do it yourself. If you are experiencing sexual fluidity, you can feel like becoming transgender or accept your current gender instead.

sexual fluidity

Yet, your sexual orientation may change after changing your gender. So, this is the link between gender and sexuality.

Realize You Are Who You Are

Do not try to change any part of you if that’s not what you want. If you try to change your gender or sexuality, you are going against nature. This is something I strictly hate. You can find out if you are going through sexual fluidity by taking this quiz.

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If you have any questions or have something to say, please drop a comment below. And to get more sex tips like this, don’t forget to subscribe to my weekly newsletter.

See you in next week!

Top 12 Sex Songs That Will Change Your Life

By Posted on 5 Comments 5 min read 261 views

For ages, music has been improving our mood effortlessly. No matter what purpose and journey, there is always a good song for all of us. Even if the moment does not long forever, music will. In fact, a good song accommodated to the situation can make the memory last longer in our minds. That means if you don’t have a Spotify sex playlist, you are doing it wrong. What are the best sex songs made for then if you don’t intend to have sex to?

Like or unlike you, I didn’t know how to initiate sex. But if you have a separate playlist for sex songs, you don’t even have to feel nervous or anything. You can enjoy the music and let it move you. If you understand the lyrics, you will instinctively put yourself in the artist’s shoes and do your partner wildly.

I will show you the best sexy songs available in music videos and singles. But before that, we will talk about why you need a sex playlist in the first place.

Why Do You Need a Sex Songs Playlist?

Life is boring without music. You admit that, right? There is probably no single person on earth who would tell you that they don’t like listening to music. Also, music taste differs from person to person. You can tell a lot about a person by checking their playlist.

What does it mean to add lots of sexy songs to your phone? It means you have a passionate and dirty mind. Here are some reasons why everyone should have at least a few good sex songs on their phone. You can read the lyrics first from Genius to understand the songs better.

Music Lets You Set the Mood

You have invited your lover over. It’s a cozy winter night; the scent of old books is everywhere in your room. You lit up a scented candle to set the mood. And when you sit on the bed, you don’t know how to start a conversation next to each other.

That’s where you need to play your biggest sex playlist. Pick the best sexy songs you like and put them on your customized playlist to not have to shuffle to find the ideal songs for the situation.

Good Sex Songs Erase the Tension in the Air

If you are nervous because it’s your first time, good and passionate sex music can erase the tension from the air. You won’t have to think about saying or doing the wrong things as you know that the songs’ lyrics inspire your actions.

It Can Help You Build a Scene If You Are Imaginative

In case you are out of sexy ideas, you can use the songs’ lyrics and makeup situations in your head. Then apply your imagination to the real-time situation. If your mind is sexy, the atmosphere will become sexier.

Also Read: 8 Sex Tips That Will Instantly Boost Your Sex Life

Music Won’t Make You Feel Alone

For my happily single friends, I know you masturbate a lot. Though Dani Daniel is always there, you can switch things up a little bit. Maybe add sexy Justin Timberlake’s songs to your playlist and enjoy a hot ‘me time.’ Furthermore, playing your favorite song at a high volume will let your vibrator go unheard.

Sex songs

12 Sex Playlist Songs You Should Play Tonight

Bang Bang By Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj & Jessie J

This song is totally girly and womanly, where Ari and Jesse are trying to convince the boy how good they can be in bed. It’s a badass song if you are bold. 🔥

Get Low By Liam Payne & Zedd

Charles Hinshaw’s lyrics, Liam’s sexy voice, and Zedd’s mind-blowing djing skills are what made Get Low sexy to my ears. I hope you like it too.

All that Matters By Justin Bieber

This pop king has released many good songs, but this one is probably the sexiest of them all.

Tonight I’m Fucking You By Enrique Iglesias

You have most possibly heard this one before. I hear it since my childhood because Enrique is sexy. His songs are sexy 🔥

I’m A Slave For You By Britney Spears

Britney is one of the sexiest singers from the 20s that I know of. And I’m A Slave For You is one of the sexy songs by women that I heard.

Kiss it Better By Rihanna

Isn’t Rihanna the sexiest woman ever to exist? 😍 This song, Kiss it Better, I find it sexy too.

Slow Down By Selena Gomez

Oh, oh

Can we take it nice and slow, slow?

Selena Gomez

Can you? Though the song lyric is focused on music and stuff, I know what she meant. 👀

Adore You By Miley Cyrus

Everything about this song is so passionating, her angelic voice, the lyrics, the music ❤

I Feel it Coming By The Weeknd

Abel (The Weeknd) is just so sexy. Everything about him makes me horny, and I Feel it Coming is one of the best sexy songs ever made!

Yummy Yummy By Justin Bieber

Another good sex songs from Justin that can make your “toes curl”.

Bom Bidi Bom Bom By Nick Jonas and Nicki Minaj

This Fifty Shades Darker song is flawlessly created by Nick Jonas and rap queen Nicki Minaj. Though the music video wasn’t released, you can listen to the audio and read lyrics if needed.

Close By Nick Jonas and Tove Lo

This one is may not be the sexiest song on this list, but one of the best sex playlist songs for sure. I find its lyrics sexy.

Bonus: I could go on and on about the best sex songs in the world, but the matter is, the list is longer than my legs. So, here is something I’ve got for you instead.

Yay, my Spotify sex playlist! Here you can find many songs that I have not listed in this post. I may add some other songs that I find hot in this list. So, there is that. You can rock your bed now.

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In case I have missed something, please let me know in the comment box below.